What's your Tolerance Quotient?

I have often wondered of this question, What's my tolerance quotient?. As I find my inner self struggling to find answer to that question, that one question gives birth to many many more complex ones and the brain recognizes a cyclical  mesh.  

The question of tolerance quotient is so influenced by complex group of factors that carry equal weightage,

• the state of mind you are in (frustrated, happy, sad, dull and blank or inquisitive)
• the situation on hand (a mistake by own self, a mistake of someone else, a forced situation, an unhappy moment, disagreements with another sole person or a group of persons on the 'right and wrong thing')
• the frequency of occurrence of the situation (same or similar) and funnily another tolerance level to the factor, which is, what frequency is acceptable for you? and
• your anticipation of the outcome of the situation on hand and the level of disagreement with other(s) on the outcome impact. Disagreement with other(s) is generally on the impact of the situation, as petty or serious.  

As I put these words together, I recollect an incident that best explains the above.  It was a fine morning and the routine had set in just like any other day for the working mother, my friend.  She had done her cooking course, packed the lunches for husband, kid and self, done the breakfast for all, attended the official mails and calls that planned her another busy day. As the irony always works, its one of those tensed days at work when her phone rang and her husband bombarded her. He said, "you have defaulted the term fees for the kid. I received the call from school, how embarrassing you made me feel.  How do they employ you at work, you one inefficient kind.....".  She is obviously upset not only about defaulting the fees but also about those words from her husband while her inner-self says, "that's very unreasonable, if I am the mother, he is the father and the responsibility is equal, how can he blame me for this".  

With those mixed feelings, she accepts her colleagues offer for a tea break.  She sits silent with her tea mug at the office pantry and one of her office mate asks her, "hey! whats wrong with you, all's well?".  It was one of her most dependable friend so she narrates the incident.  Her friend makes her feel better as always, given the fact that this only a temporary consolation. Her friend said, "oh! come-on, is this the first time for you, my child is in her higher secondary and I don't remember the number of times I have done this.  See, its not that big mistake, it happens to all of us".

Later that evening, she approaches her still angry husband quoting what happened in office and also trying to be submissive considering that, after-all it was a mistake she is party to as well.  However, she only lands up hearing more from him, as if, his office work and the tension it gives are unmanageable and she must be aware of that and that it was her duty as a responsible wife to unburden him of the family responsibilities. 

From the above incident, it is quiet visible that the wife's tolerance level is much higher and the husband's is much lower and they are at two opposite ends of the rating scale.  But wait, lets not conclude here picturing the man to be the worst human being. As I already said, the level of tolerance is influenced by those many complex factors.  

It was a worst day for the man as he was facing a situation of losing his job and was terribly tensed when this call from the school interfered in.  And the moment he cut the line from school he happened to call his wife.  The rest of his day at work was also not that very pleasant and there comes the end of the day with arguments and disappointments between the husband and wife.  This is often the day-to-day life that is being run by many families that I know and I have heard. But the truth is, its not a new world, even for our parents and theirs its the same world they lived in.  However, what is changed is the pace at which we learn, we grow.  While we have leaned to move fast paced we have not learned to handle the pressure it comes with. That is were your, 'Tolerance Quotient' takes great importance.

Today, we are in a world of 'STRESS' and women take as much responsibility at work as men do.  After-all women also go through the same amount of hardship and mostly more than men to make their career and grow in it.     The family and business relationships are often broken early due to low tolerance and stress outburst.  The truth of standing by troubled times and strengthening the relationships is getting forgotten in this fast and competitive stressed world where there is increasing lack of trust.  

When you are dumped in situations that test your tolerance, spend few lone moments closing your eyes and taking a deep breath also digesting the situation your in.  When you calm down, the mind reflects a more calm reaction and often has the solutions found.  This way, you avoid shifting your panic and unpleasantness to people around you which in-effect worsens the situation you are in.  Learn to improve your tolerance quotient, learn to love and trust and stand by the people you trust, 'cos its a madly stressed world you are in!    

If Only Time Can Repeat Itself!

If Only Time Can Repeat Itself! 

In other words, if only, life gives me a second chance, I will go back to my youth and wouldn't have become the number freak and a geek accountant that I have become.

 I would have been a natures lover, a carefree traveler, probably a journalist talking and doing the right thing.  But wait, would it have been that easy, to be a fair and just journalist who does not drive the opinion to achieve TRP rating whether he or she likes it or not.  May be it would pose a even greater challenge to be thyself.  Coming to think of it that way, its better to take up what life has given me than ask for something it has not given.  

Again, coming to think of it, its just our perception of mind.  Its the law of nature for human mind to behave in such a way, to always want for something, ever urge and never get satisfied.  If only one can separate his thoughts from his mind, he can set the thoughts straight when ever the mind is depressed or does not come to consensus.  In this fast changing world, which has even invented machines to measure happiness, the world is not too far off when the mind becomes a memory chip controlled with a remote in your own hands.  

Oh my God, coming to think of it, how dependent we have become to this world of technology.  Technology that we relish spending all our time browsing say, an i-Phone or i-Pad or any small or big gadgets. 

We spend all our time slaved to the gadgets and get depressed for some or the other reason, say, career, financial, family and more and to even shy away from our problems, we hide behind the gadgets. We have become slaves, a mechanical robot glued to the technological gadgets for phone calls, SMSs, emails.  Even to know our near and dears birthdays, we need the birthday alarms to ring on our phones. Mechanics are intended to make life simple but we are moving towards the same mechanics overtaking our life.  We have lost our time to the virtual world of internet and social networks.  

If only time can repeat itself, i wish to go back to the good old days of POTS, the standard telephone line stringed with copper wire that limits the time spent on calls and as a matter of fact, that which even limits the number of calls received and done merely because it is fixed at the right place where it should be, in some corner near the wall at our homes.   

Come on, its high time to get ourselves back on track, all the gadgets are to ease our lifestyle but not takeover it.  Get your priorities set, spend your time wisely, with family and friends and yourself after all there is a real world outside your gadget. 

How hard is it to relieve your Stress!

I traveled to a mountain 3000ft above sea level. I got my revelations looking at that beautiful sky accompanied by the setting sun and the rising moon, the mountains making the skyline..gods most beautiful canvas painting...


Why is that we all get revelations when we gaze at the sky for a while?  The mind reaches a steady state and resolves any problems that comes to our thoughts....Maybe this is what it means when people say, open your mind and you can face all matters that concerns you.

Such a simple truth to all the troubles and tangles life gives us! Free your mind.  Imagine, long stretching greenery, lovely humming birds, sound of sizzling water flows and the feel of the breeze..and amid all of that a nice little home and a happy family...

All  it needs for a troubled state or a stressed life is to free the mind from it. Do not let these negative states influence your mind.  Yesterday i watched a TV show and a sage shared this beautiful thought. When there is a conflict in relationship, even if you are not making the arguments, your pain is the contribution to conflict.  And the best way to resolve the conflict is to free your mind from it.  Accept the truth that each one is different and you cannot influence your expectations on the other. 

You know, the best positive energy flows from your own-self.  Imagine good things and happiness and let the mind believe in it.

Dream! that's the magic word that keeps us going...get us working...its the force behind our deeds...the saying, aim for the sky if you wish to reach the tree top is so true...Dream big! and if you want the dream to come true, do not sleep! Get your motivator acting for you....force your soul to follow your dream and success will follow you!

Life is a God Particle

Life is a God Particle!

The first action of the tiny little being coming out of the mother's womb, is to Cry! No one teaches to cry or to laugh, to show anger or to love....then why do the wise say, 'Life teaches lessons'? I would say, Life is the God particle which cannot be seen and cannot be felt but it is there. Incredible and Invisible!

This would mean all we do is only a repetition of what we already know.  What we experience is Life and all that we have to do is to refine, beautify, and complete our journey as a God Particle.  Like always, many things are said than done.  

When I thought of this topic, I just wanted to visualised life as a whole and here I put out a few lines of how I see it,

I was born, I knew to cry,
I knew to drink and to squeak,
I crawled and soon I walked,
I started to babble and soon it became a gibble,
Life of mine knows it more than me,
Oh thy God Particle,
Take me through my age,
with,
Joy and worry,
Sadness and hurry,
Money and honey,
Kids and bunny,
Give it all and make it full,
What more can I ask my God Almighty before this small God Particle joins your whole!

Life is a God Particle, we are part of that whole called "Universe".

Feeling of Guilt!

What a burdening feeling! GUILT! 

We can deny, shy away from accepting to others or to even our own self, but this feeling of guilt does catch some moments of our life.  They remains in our waning memory lines through out our life until our death bed.  That feeling, which we never wish it occurs to us, we never wish it happened, The Feeling of GUILT!.

We are all set in a fast racing lifestlye..wherein for many, MONEY is of the utmost priority and develops to a state of insanity were it is coupled with the urge for POWER.  For those who do not care about the means to achieve such powerful elements of MONEY AND POWER, GUILT comes free of cost and in relatively large quantities. 

Just take a brief moment and drift in your memory line for such occassions of GUILT.  Your waning memory will flash many occasions where you became party to it or a prey. 

Sometimes it is unavoidable and we are party to this guilty feeling.  In such occassions, we have no control over the happenings and we are helpless.  With the strom of recession, the often arising event is to churn the staff count.  It is the times when the management wishes to cut down roles and the Manager offers the pink slip to his employees, being helpless party to the happenings. This is the defining moment were the boss can behave as a ruthless employer or as a human being. However, Lets leave that topic about good bosses for a nother post. 

All it takes to face GUILT is GUTS!   

Lot of times we fail to identify our hard feeling as guilt.  We want our brain to overpower our soul in calling the moment or event as a fault of another, instead of our own guilt.   Just close your eyes and drift in your thoughts to see the truth, the subconcious mind often alerts you of your mistakes, your guilt.  This subconcious mind is so powerful to even tell you what you should do next and all it takes to do it is GUTS! 

I want to drift slightly from my orignal intention of this post for a social cause.  One thing that all of us should be guilty of.  The way we exploit our mother nature. 

We should be guilty of our deeds which is causing danger to the enviornment.  

If you have the guts to face the reality, see the below video of what damage we are causing to nature... 

http://www.upworthy.com/people-should-know-about-this-awful-thing-we-do-and-most-of-us-are-simply-unaware?g=4&c=ufb1
(Courtesy:www.upworthy.com)

Lets become responsible beings and feel guilty of the damage we are causing to nature.  Lets start with little things: 

• do not litter, be aware of the damage, spread the message of awareness
• reduce and wherever possible avoid the use of plastic
• recycle whereever possible.  It can even start in small ways like reducing the number of prints and using one-side sheets whereever possible

Dont get your head low with Guilt, raise to the occassion with Guts!

Empowering Women-is it more said than done?

Behind every successful man there is a women.  So behind every successful women there is man? 

A girl child! such a priced possession. From the day a girl learns to stand and walk, she learns to work. As she grows, she becomes a symbol of tolerance and an epitome of sacrifice. How often do we hear success stories of empowered women amid the male dominated world of business? Most studies by renowned groups including McKensey, Boston Consulting or Big 4 firms show that, women who make it to board room in most countries is as low as 10-15%.

The studies quote that, women give up their career due to predominantly two reasons, home or dominant power:

1. The most often quoted reason being, the pressing need to be good moms at home; and

2. and the less quoted but often occurring reason being prejudiced promotions to men.

W

Women who have greater literacy rate and graduate in equal or more number to male, slow down in career, as compared to men. 'Gender Equality' is most often prejudiced in the world of business. What makes women decelerate in career is studied to be the need to balance family responsibilities amid challenging gender prejudice. The challenge in maintaining the work life balance predominantly works against career growth for women. In other words, behind every successful man there is a women, but, behind every successful women there is high level of Personal Sacrifices.

"Career at the high cost of compromised family relationships."

The cover stories about successful women often fail to cover her turmoil, losses and personal sacrifices. Gender equality and women empowerment is more a myth than a reality limited to literature boasted on annual reports. The big corporate think tanks do not want to open the realms of working style to suit the women needs and benefit the society at large. How often are company policies amended to allow and legalize flexible working hours and working from home. Even in the world of gadgets when you can always be connected with work, work-from-home is not legalized or recognized well. After-all in today's cost cutting era of business, such mobilization of workspace and reduction of running cost for work space should be seen as a welcome measure. Why the corporate world does not encourage women oriented working environment, like planning a creche for working mothers?. Why are these often heard as an astonishing achievement by a small hand full of companies?. As a matter of fact, it must become a normal part of the corporate environment.

"It is not how much you work that matters but it is how smart you work that can really increase the bottom-line of the companies."

I welcome the day when the world awakens to this thought and welcome change like amendment to corporate polices to legalize work-from-home and recognize flexible work hours. That day will be the Worlds Women Empowerment Day!

Marriage a Sin or a Boon!

!Marriage a Sin or a Boon

Marriages are made in heaven! what could that great saying mean? An Eve for Adam was sent by god.  So, does he match the so called ideal couples may be.  Can there be one ideal couple to quote from the real world and more so in today's world of gadgets?  I have always wondered what an ideal couple would mean.  Does it mean that they never quarrel, never show their ego on each other?.  No, ideal is when they stand for each other particularly in times of trouble.  There was an article I read on high rising divorce rates.  The article quoted lack of communication, misunderstandings, career clashes as some of the primary reasons.  

It is said that, at times of trouble the bondage of love builds stronger as one proves to the other that he or she is there even where the whole world is against.  In this fast moving wold, there is lack of time for sharing moments to show affection, to show love and care. How many of us still write poetic lines to express love after marriage.  Be it child or adult, we are so busy in the world of work, apps and social networks.  In the rat race that we all get into we forget to show affection to our loved ones.  We forget that families have expectations we fail to understand. We are blinded in our own world in which we perceive our families expectations. We are overwhelmed in our misconceptions that we know better of what our family needs.  If only we make a small effort in understanding our families needs from their perspective every home will become a better place.  Sin or boon is in the way we would lead our life.  In marriage we share our life, which implies our better-half has all the right and responsibility to influence our life.  Give equal right and responsibility to  your better-half and learn to forget and forgive.  After all its your life you are trying to take control over and that can be possible only when you treat your better-half like your own.  You have the right to argue and fight but you also have the responsibility to set it right.  Life without marriage would be a sin and married life can be a big win, if only you play by the rules of love.  

If only this article can influence broken hearts to re-unite, then it has served its purpose.

Ego is to some extent an essential quality but there is no harm in giving it up for your loved ones.  Break the ice and talk your problem, always spend time in understanding your loved ones, make some time to flatter some love lines. After all life is short and is meant to enjoy.